The Soul Mate Search: Looking But Not Looking For Love
Are you looking but not looking for love? Do you long to find your soul mate? If you are looking without trying to seem like you are looking— that is understandable. None of us likes to feel undignified. Perhaps you could develop a new perspective about looking, and move into enjoying it, rather than seeing it as something that is beneath you. Looking could mean that you are ready to take responsibility for your own happiness, whom you meet, whom you choose to go out with, and the quality of relationship you want. The best approach of all is to consider the process of looking for someone as your great adventure. Here are some ideas to help you in your search: Tell people you want to meet someone. Being introduced to someone by people who know you makes a lot of sense. Networking and asking friends and relatives to scout for you is one of the most effective ways of meeting others. It helps to have friends screen potential dates. It can save you a lot of time in getting to know and trust someone. If you are out of high school or college, you are going to have to take the initiative if you want to date. That initiative starts with asking others for help. Do some planning to get out more often. I can’t think of anything worth having that does not take some planning, focus, and skills. Invariably, working for what you want also involves ups and downs. Did you sail through school with no struggles? Not too many people did—and that’s my point. You worked for it, and made your way through the challenges with as much grace as possible. So be prepared to do the work to find places to go and people to go with. Further, design a dating plan that includes going places, scouting, sorting, and screening potential dates. Be friendly and reach out to people. Extend yourself to people to make some new friends. By building a stronger social network, and developing a good attitude, you will increase the likelihood of meeting someone. You need to practice your social skills if you are going to go new places and talk to new potential dates. A different attitude leads to different behavior which creates new and different results. Learn to use the internet for dating. Get a good book about how to proceed with effective internet dating. It's important to learn how to write an interesting profile. Read other peoples' profiles to get ideas about the ones you like. If you have tried one site and it did not work, try another. Polish yourself up. What would it take for you to feel attractive? Do you need a hair or clothes makeover? Do you need to start working out at the gym? Or perhaps you need to learn some new skills to feel better about your career potential? Ask yourself what would give you new energy and make plans to do something about it. Don't be afraid to acknowledge to yourself and to others that you are looking. The first step to getting who and what you want is to know what that is and stop keeping it a secret. The second step is to take action. Good luck. You can do it. Visit http://www.tonjaweimer.com or http://www.singlesdatingtips.com for more tips, skills, and insight on dating, relationships, singles, and love. Subscribe to our F*ree Savvy Dating Newsletter from master single's coach, life coach, and syndicated columnist, Tonja Weimer. Copyright 2006, Tonja Weimer. (Please note source if reprinting this article.) |
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